Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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