I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
