please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
