If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
