We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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