I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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