We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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