sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
