you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
