For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
