you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
