Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
