It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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