talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
