Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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