All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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