Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
