Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
