I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
