Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
