how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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