Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
