Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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