ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
