Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
