I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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