i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
