Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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