I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
