toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Randomize
