just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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