We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
