so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
