I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
