it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
