I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
