benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
