I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
