I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
