found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
