ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
