so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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