He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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