Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
