Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
