You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
All the doctor said was why
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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