I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
