this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
