Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
