i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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