did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
