Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
